Bruins-Capitals Game 4 Running Diary

7:35: We’re coming to you live from No Credentials Headquarters! We’re going to miss most of the first period because my son is still awake, and if he sees the computer on he immediately starts screaming for YouTube videos.

7:36: The Bald Asshole (aka Pierre McGuire) is interviewing John Carlson. Unfortunately, Carlson didn’t punch The Bald Asshole in the face.

7:40: NBCSN must be really struggling if they are devoting ad time to qualifying for the U.S. Men’s Wrestling team.

7:40: Capitals win the opening face-off. They’ve been dominating face-offs all series long.

7:41: Sloppy turnover by Capitals in first minute of game on their own end. Fortunate to survive that one.

7:41: Not as fortunate…the Bruins. An Ovechkin collision creates a 2 on 1 for Brooks Laich and Marcus Johansson. 1-0 Capitals.

7:43: Good time to mention that Washington is without their second best offensive player tonight, Niklas Backstrom, due to a really poor decision by the NHL to suspend him for a game.

7:44: I already wish that I were watching a Flyers-Penguins game instead. The score would already be 3-2.

7:46: If Boston was getting production out of any of their big guns (Lucic, Seguin, Krejci, Bergeron), they’d be going for the sweep tonight. I type this after a sloppy off-side by Bergeron and Lucic.

7:48: Bomb by Chara leads to a rebound, but Bruins can’t convert. Having someone more mobile than Ilya Bryzgalov in goal helped Washington.

7:49: Real encouraging play by Tyler Seguin. Made a nifty pass to Krejci, but unfortunately he overstated the puck. Bruins are out-shooting Washington 8-1 to start the game.

8:13: All right my kid’s in bed, and apparently I missed Rich Peverley’s goal. In the time I spent away from the game, I did decide that Doc Emerick is my favorite sports announcer. Also, in my next life, I’ve decided I want to come back as a Canadian hockey coach.

8:15: Rich Peverley just slashed a Capital and snapped his stick in half. Washington will end the first period on a power play.

8:16: Washington can’t even get the puck passed the blue-line with an extra guy on the ice.

8:20: Bruins have a 14-3 shot advantage, but yet the score is tied 1-1.

8:21: During the intermission, I’m going to try to think of as many events as possible I’d like to have Doc Emerick lend his voice to.

Football

Basketball
Baseball
Auto Racing
Curling
Fencing
Porno
Bowling
Mystery Science Theater 3000
A Kid’s Television Show
Westminster Dog Show
Track and Field
Horse Racing (an obvious one, thanks to the NBC Sports Network for airing a Kentucky Derby commercial)

8:23: I’m interrupting the list to talk about the NBC intermission crew. Mike Milbury and the guy on the left (sorry, don’t know his name) have been on TV every day since the playoffs start, and it looks like they’ll be on everyday of the playoffs. I don’t mind the guy on the left, but I think I’m three days away from reaching my Mike Milbury tolerance level.

8:30: Just incase you wanted confirmation that Milbury is an idiot, check out his Wikipedia page. Signing Rick DiPietro to a 15-year contract should earn Milbury a lifetime ban from ever being a GM for a NHL team.

8:46: Took an extended break to rotate laundry and clean up the bathtub. Came back to hear The Bald Asshole compare Braden Holtby to Ken Dryden. Someone get Pierre some cold water.

8:50: Holtby is on pace to face 50 shots tonight in regulation. I’ll give The Bald Asshole a little more credit for his Dryden comparison.

8:53: Tim Thomas just stones Ovechkin on a wrist shot from the slot. Thomas hasn’t been tested much, but he’s been rock solid (you can’t blame the Capitals goal on him).

8:53: Benoit Pouiliot just roofed one over Holtby, which was followed by the Capitals roofing one over Tim Thomas. Still 1-1.

8:55: Boston now out-shooting Washington 26-8. If the Capitals win, Braden Holtby should be the first, second, and third star of the game.

8:56: Johnny Boychuck hooks Troy Brower (the most impressive no-name Capital in this series). Washington gets a power play at the half way point of the second period.

8:57: I’m not sure how Dennis Wideman didn’t score. Net was wide open, and Wideman just blew it. Boston is lucky to still be tied.

8:58: Ovechkin just shanks another sure goal opportunity. Good grief.

9:01: Brad Marchand received a gorgeous one-time pass from Rich Peverley, except Marchand didn’t one-time it. Instead, an easy save for Holtby. I’m not a hockey expert (or for that matter, an anything expert), but Boston’s scorers look like they are over-thinking it a little bit.

9:02: The Bald Asshole is interviewing The Vacuum Cleaner Salesman, Claude Julien. No Credentials loves that guy.

9:06: Wild action on both ends resulted in near scoring chances for both teams. Capitals have come to life in the second period offensively.

9:07: Just saw on ESPN.com that Curtis Granderson hit 3 dingers in the first four innings tonight. Yikes.

9:08: I want to see the video of Ovechkin falling over the bench five more times.

9:12: My wife just asked when the All-Star Game is. Needless to say, she doesn’t follow hockey much. She did take the time to announce that Zdeno Chara is her favorite hockey player. “He’s like a big monkey on the ice.”

9:14: Killer Bergeron penalty leads to a power play goal by Alexander Semin. Semin’s shot appeared to be traveling 160 mph. 2-1 Capitals.

9:16: Apparently the guy on the left’s name is Liam.

9:22: “What’s up with him? He looks like crap. He acts like crap. He’s probably drunk out of his mind.” – my wife on Alex Ovechkin

9:46: Took a break from typing for a bit, but we’ll comeback to report Tim Thomas’ incredible save to keep it a one goal game with 12 minutes to go.

9:47: I’ve stopped typing because I’m reading this great piece of satire by Chuck Klosterman. 

11:44: So ya…I was talking with my wife and forgot to type for two hours. If I’m the Bruins, I’m scared shitless right now. Braden Holtby looks like a cross between Dryden and Patrick Roy (The Bald Asshole was on to something). Game 5 is a must win for the Bruins.