Half-Baked 2013 NHL Season Preview

            Against all odds, the NHL season is starting in less than 48 hours. No Credentials thought it had written an accurate season preview last Halloween, but alas games will actually be played. In honor of the NHL teams spending roughly 35 seconds preparing for the season, No Credentials spent no time researching anything for the following preview (short of participating in one fantasy draft last Sunday).

Any Team Can Win The Stanley Cup

            Hockey is a fucked up sport. Cramming a 48 regular season into three months is ludicrous. It won’t take much of a hot streak for any club to sneak into the playoffs and make a Kings-esque run through the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Except the Columbus Blue Jackets

            They suck.

Fear The Russians

            Chill out baby-boomers, we’re not talking about the Cold War. The majority of Russians played in the KHL, which should alleviate any rust. However, when the NHL regular season ends, Evgeni Malkin will have played 91 games (assuming he’s healthy), which is nine more than the typical NHL regular season. Don’t be shocked if the Russian players fade come playoff time.

Tim Thomas Will Not Be Missed

               Last time I remember seeing the Bruins on the ice, the Capitals were upsetting them in the first round. Tukka Rask will at least deliver a playoff appearance.

Sidney Crosby Will Not Have A Head Injury

            The best benefit of the lockout? There are 34 fewer games for Sidney Crosby to get a concussion in.

The Red Wings Will Be Weird To Watch Without Niklas Lidstrom

            Lidstrom wasn’t the flashiest player, but he was the most reliable defenseman in the league for the past 20 years. He will not be easily replaced.

Don’t Buy Stock In The Minnesota Wild

            I had the Wild pegged as a bust before the season, but then inexplicably drafted both of their goalies, Gary Suter, and Mikka Koivu in the No Credentials Fantasy Hockey League.

We’ll Pick Pittsburgh To Win The East

            A full year of a healthy Crosby and Malkin make Pittsburgh the most talented team in the East.

We’ll Pick St. Louis To Win The West

            While St. Louis lacks a bona-fide superstar, they go three lines deep, and have the strongest defense in the league. Depth works when you’re in a compressed season.

Screw It, We’ll Pick The Blues To Hoist The Stanley Cup

            Remember, it’s going to be a messed up season.