Monday, December 31, 2012

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (12/28-12/30)

10. Hideki Matsui Retires
            Matsui easily ranks as one of my five favorite Yankees of the 2000s. Affectionately nicknamed “Chief Matsui” in the greater Mount Washington Valley area, he will be best remembered as the best Japanese baseball import not named Ichiro Suzuki.

9. Clippers Win 17th in a Row
            Kobe Bryant and the rest of the Lakers’ organization have every right to acknowledge the Clippers as the better NBA team in Los Angeles.

8. Patriots Dominate Dolphins
7. Broncos Clobber Chiefs
            With both teams snagging first round byes Sunday, it’s hard to fathom which of the other four AFC Playoff teams will prevent a Manning-Brady AFC Championship Game battle.

6. Eagles Officially Quit on Andy Reid
5. Giants Eliminated From Postseason Contention
            When it was 21-0 with two minutes left in the first quarter, I was starting to feel bad for Andy Reid, but then I remembered all the times his Eagles used to beat the crap out of the pathetic Cowboys in the early 2000s. His gross mismanagement of timeouts, challenges, and the play clock will be sorely missed. As for the Giants, I couldn’t be happier that they will be starting their off-season early.
           
4. Cain Velasquez Rocks Junior Dos Santos
            We’ll give Dos Santos a Tommy Point for fighting the final three rounds with a broken jaw.

3. Redskins Win the NFC East
            For those of you that bet a backbreaking Tony Romo interception would lead to doom for the Cowboys, pat yourselves on the back.

2. Chuck Pagano Returns to the Colts Sideline, Colts Beat Texans
            No Credentials has really dropped the ball on the story of Pagano, who made his emotional return in the Colts final home game. Kudos to them for wrecking the Texans opportunity for home-field advantage.

1. Minnesota Vikings Complete Stunning Run to the Playoffs
            The best result of Sunday afternoon’s back and forth, highflying shootout between Aaron Rodgers and Adrian Peterson? They get to do it again Saturday night at Lambeau Field.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Week 17 Picks

            Sadly, we’ve reached the end of the NFL regular season. This year, it’s extra sad, because No Credentials is as dialed in as it’s ever been with NFL prognostication. Riding a 24-8 run the past two weeks, here’s the Week 17 picks.

BILLS (-3) over Jets


BENGALS (-2.5) over Ravens

STEELERS (-6) over Browns

Texans (-7) over COLTS

Jaguars (+4) over TITANS

Eagles (+7) over GIANTS

Bears (-3) over LIONS

SAINTS (-5) over Panthers

Buccaneers (+3.5) over FALCONS

PATRIOTS (-10) over Dolphins

Packers (-3.5) over VIKINGS

Chiefs (+16) over BRONCOS

CHARGERS (-7) over Raiders

49ERS (-16.5) over Cardinals

Rams (+11) over SEAHAWKS

REDSKINS (-3) over Cowboys

 
Last Week = 12-4
Season = 133-102-5

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

NBA Christmas Day Observations

No Credentials was able to view at least five minutes of every Christmas game in the NBA. Here are ten observations of each team that particiapated.


Brooklyn Nets – They are the new Atlanta Hawks. Joe Johnson brought the stink with him.

Boston Celtics – Boston isn’t a team anyone will want to face in a seven game series, but they will need to flip one or two of their back-up wings for a big to have a real chance against Miami.

New York Knicks – Boom or bust depending on how Amar’e Stoudemire blends in. If he is truly accepting of a bench role that makes a ton of sense (could plug in at the 4 when Carmelo Anthony sits, and man the 5 when Tyson Chandler does), New York is the team that Miami should legitimately be worried about in the Eastern Conference.

Los Angeles Lakers – Mitch Kupchak should explore all other ways to add three point shooting and a stretch-4 without including Pau Gasol before moving the scruffy looking Spaniard. They don’t need a big name to hit threes, just a couple of dudes of the role-playing variety. It would be crazy to think of the Lakers and Celtics making a trade, but a Barbosa for Jordan Hill swap would make a ton of sense for both sides (cap implications not considered, because I just took NyQuil and don’t have the ambition to see if that deal would work on the NBA Trade Machine).

Oklahoma City Thunder – Don’t let the loss today fool you. The Thunder are still the favorite in the West.


Miami Heat – In case their recent scuffles the past month fooled you, let today reaffirm that Miami is the class of the Eastern Conference. When the Heat are firing on all cylinders, it really isn’t close.

Chicago Bulls – Can Derrick Rose deliver an Adrian Peterson-like comeback in 2013? Joakim Noah’s offensive breakout would only be enhanced by the return of the 2010-11 MVP.

Houston Rockets – Without looking at advanced metrics, this looks like the most unselfish team in the league. They’ve really taken on the persona of their franchise player, James Harden.

Denver Nuggets – In the NBA, it is possible to have too many guys, leading to undefined roles, fluctuating minutes, and bruised egos. Denver needs to move out three to four players to carve out a solid eight-man rotation.
 
Los Angeles Clippers – They are deep, they run the floor, and have a surplus of ball handlers and shooters. Chris Paul gets the most of every teammate, making the Clippers a scary opponent come playoff time.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (12/21-12/23)

10. The World Didn’t Explode
            I can now say that I’ve lived through Y2K, The Rapture, and the Mayan Apocalypse. I look forward to the next doomsday prediction.

9. Nick Swisher Joins the Indians
            This doesn’t have any relation to real-life, but I thought it would be a good time to mention that Nick Swisher was one of the main components I gave away in a 4-for-1 deal for Buster Posey in the No Credentials keeper league. 

8. Lionel Messi Ends 2012 With 91 Goals
            For those not in the know, that’s a lot of fucking goals.

7. Temple Knocks Off #3 Syracuse
            Here’s your obligatory mention of a big college basketball upset that I really don’t give a shit about, sponsored by Mentos.

6. Calvin Johnson Sets Record For Single-Season Receiving Yardage
            Glad something positive came out of the poop sandwich that was the 2012 Detroit Lions.

5. Dirk Returns
            We’ll ignore the fact that the Spurs beat Dallas by 29 points and simply celebrate the return of the big goofy German.
           
4. Vikings Stun Texans
            I’d like to formally apologize to anyone whose fantasy football fate depended on or Adrian Peterson Arian Foster.

3. Andrew Luck Leads Colts Back to Postseason
            They are going to lose by 25 to the Ravens in the Wildcard Round, but a playoff appearance in his rookie season with his less than stellar supporting cast is a stunning accomplishment.

2. Cincinnati Eliminates Steelers, Earns Wildcard Berth
            Fortunately this game didn’t happen on 12-21-12, or else the world surely would’ve ended.

1. Cowboys Rally, Still Lose to Saints in Overtime
            I’m overjoyed that the Giants choke job ensures that the Cowboys will blow another Week 17 opportunity to win the NFC East.   

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Week 16 NFL Picks

We survied the Mayans, so here's some Week 16 picks. Let it be known that we are do for a market correction.


PACKERS (-12.5) over Titans


PANTHERS (-8.5) over Raiders

DOLPHINS (-4.5) over Bills

Bengals (+3.5) over STEELERS

Patriots (-14.5) over Jaguars

Colts (-7) over CHIEFS

Saints (+2.5) over COWBOYS

Redskins (-6.5) over EAGLES

Rams (+3) over BUCCANEERS

TEXANS (-7.5) over Vikings

Chargers (+2.5) over JETS

BRONCOS (-12) over Browns

Giants (-2.5) over RAVENS

Bears (-6) over CARDINALS

49ers (+1) over SEAHAWKS

 

Last Week = 12-4
Saturday Pick = In Progress (go Falcons!)
Season = 121-98-5

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Waiting For the World to End, Volume 2: My Favorite Apocalypses

            In reverse order, I rank what my favorite ways of ending the world would be.

Nuclear Holocaust
            This would be the most embarrassing, as human hands would bring the end of the world.  

Errant Passes By New York Jets’ Quarterbacks


            Is it possible that we could get concussed to death? The plucky trio of Sanchez-Tebow-McElroy would be the ideal candidates to attempt it.

Alien Invasion
            A bunch of spaceships appearing in orbit would be fun for about two minutes, until they started frying us with advanced weaponry. For grins and giggles, here’s a list within the list showing what would be my favorite alien invaders.

5. Martians, “Mars Attacks!”

4.The Galactic Empire, “Star Wars”

3. The aliens from “Independence Day”

2. Xenomorph, “Alien” franchise

1. The Borg, “Star Trek” 


A Kanye-Kardashian Fetus

            Odds are high that this fetus would morph into a black hole, sucking all life into it.

Zombie Outbreak
            Enough people in this country play “Call of Duty”, so maybe we’ll have enough trained citizens to eventually survive a zombie apocalypse.

Justin Bieber/Taylor Swift Duet Album
            All of the anguish over botched relationships by these two dimwits would surely create enough bad vibes to shift a tectonic plate or two.

Sun Going Supernova, Vaporizing the Earth
            No one would survive, but it would be painless. At least, I think it would (nerds correct me if I’m wrong!).

Polar Shift Resulting in an Ice Age

            Couldn’t we all just wear a jacket?
 

If you missed Volume 1, click here.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (12/14-12/16)

10. Andrew Bynum Claims Kobe Stunted His Development
            I’d take his comments more seriously if he wasn’t rocking a Mod-Squad hair-do.

9. Josh Hamilton Signs Five-Year, $125 Million Deal With Angels
            There won’t be a scarier trio in MLB than Trout-Pujols-Hamilton. Too bad the Angels have no pitching.

8. Butler Takes Down #1 Indiana in Overtime
            Is there another school in the country that has pulled off as many improbable upsets as Butler over the past decade?

7. Seahawks Drop 50 Points Again
            For those of you that had the onions to start Russell Wilson in your fantasy playoff game this week, I salute you. Karma is eventually going to strike Seattle, adding the fake punt they ran while up by 30 and their replacement-ref aided victory over Green Bay earliar in the year.

6. Denver Dominates Baltimore
            Joe Flacco is a fraud.

5. Adrian Peterson Keeps Going Bonkers, Leads Vikings to Win in St. Louis
            With all due respect to Peyton Manning, Peterson should win the NFL MVP, Offensive Player of the Year, and Comeback Player of the Year award.
           
4. Kirk Cousins Wins First Career Start
            When the Redskins selected Cousins just days after mortgaging their future for Robert Griffin III, it seemed like their organization was run by a bunch of monkeys. For this season at least, that pick may have saved their playoff hopes.

3. Patriots Nearly Pull Off Epic Comeback, Lose to San Francisco
            One of the wildest games of the season, San Francisco showed tons of resiliency rebounding from a 28-0 run by the Patriots to win this game. The 49ers need one more win to lock up the NFC West. As for New England, they can kiss a first round bye good bye, and pencil in a divisional round game at Denver.

2. Cowboys Take Down Steelers in Overtime
            The game was playing out as a typical fourth quarter Cowboys-collapse, but incredibly Dallas flipped the script. The best proof of the NFL weekend that the world might explode in four days.

1. The World Honors the Victims of Newtown, CT
            Whether it be the moments of silence before all of this weekend’s sporting events, President Obama’s incredible speech Sunday night, the releasing of pictures of all the little ones that lost their lives, the past few days have been filled with emotion. It’s terribly sad to think that it took an elementary school massacre to make us consider that military assault weapons shouldn’t be so readily available (comparing it to sports for a moment, it’s a reminder of when we were losing NASCAR drivers left and right during the late-90s and 2000 and no one gave a shit. It took Dale Earnhardt’s death in the 2001 Daytona 500 for the sport to finally enact safety measures to keep the drivers safe. No NASCAR driver has died since), or that we should reassess how we deal with mentally unstable individuals. While it is true that evil will inevitably pop up in this world, every measure should be taken to limit the damage it will inflict. No Credentials offers it’s most sincere condolences to the family and friends of the 26 people lost, and to the greater Newtown community.   

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Week 15 NFL Picks

Packers (-2.5) over BEARS

Giants (+1.5) over FALCONS

Buccaneers (+3.5) over SAINTS

RAMS (-2.5) over Vikings

BROWNS (Pick ‘em) over Redskins

DOLPHINS (-7.5) over Jaguars

Broncos (-3) over RAVENS

TEXANS (-10) over Colts

Panthers (+3) over CHARGERS

Seahawks (-5) over BILLS (game being played in Toronto)

CARDINALS (+6.5) over Lions

COWBOYS (+2) over Steelers

RAIDERS (-3) over Chiefs

49ers (+4.5) over PATRIOTS

TITANS (-1.5) over Jets


Last Week = 8-8
Thursday = 1-0
Season = 109-94-5

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Waiting For the World to End, Volume 1: Don't Argue About the Apocalypse

            Just a gentle reminder from No Credentials…the world is supposed to explode in a week. Or become infested with zombies. Or be stricken by earthquakes and volcanoes because of a dramatic polar shift. Or something. I could use science to validate why you shouldn’t argue that the Mayans are going to be right, but I have a much simpler reason.

What good is it to argue a point if you won’t get to gloat about it after it’s proven correct?

            Most of the time when you argue about a possible outcome, there’s a chance you either get to celebrate your genius or have to eat crow for your stupidity. In this case, if the world ends, you’ll be dead, and if it doesn’t, you’ll look like a dumbass. At best, you might be one of the few survivors of a zombie apocalypse, but will you really feel like reminding people that you’re right when walkers are trying to bite your ankle? There’s no winning in the debate of whether or not the world will end. It’s the ultimate lose-lose situation.

Monday, December 10, 2012

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (12/7-12/9)

10. Dodgers Sign Zach Greinke, Korean Lefty Hyun-Jin Ryu
            If nothing else, the past decade of major league baseball has proven that spending money recklessly doesn’t guaruantee a playoff spot, much less a World Series, but kudos to the Dodgers for ignoring this trend and throwing cash all over the place.

9. Royals Trade James Shields to Tampa Bay for Minor League Stud Wil Myers
            I have a hard time believing that the Rays are going to end up getting outsmarted by Kansas City. If Myers is in the majors by the end of May, pencil him in for AL Rookie of the Year.

8. Giants Score 52 Points
7. Seahawks Score 58 Points
            In Seattle’s case, the score was 58-0, which is the type of result that should relegate Arizona to the Arena League.

6. Johnny Manziel Wins the Heisman
            I love the name Johnny Manziel.

5. Adrian Peterson Goes Bonkers Again
            The fact that Peterson has a legitimate shot at a 2,000 yard rushing season less than 365 days after tearing his left ACL should go down as one of the most remarkable athletic achievements of the last 20 years.
         
4. Lionel Messi Sets Record For Most Goals in One Year
            Wasn’t Messi getting hauled off the pitch on a stretcher last week?

3. RGIII Nearly Blows Out ACL, Redskins Win Anyway   
            Even without their franchise player, the Redskins were able to pull off an epic comeback.

2. Down Nine in the Fourth Quarter, Cowboys Keep Season Alive
            Leave it to the sorry Bengals to make the Cowboys look like a competent fourth quarter team.

1. Pacquiao Hits the Canvas
            I’d like to formally thank Juan Manuel Marquez for finally putting to bed the talk of a Manny Pacquiao-Floyd Mayweather Jr. mega fight. 

Friday, December 7, 2012

Week 14 NFL Picks

            If you want extended analysis of each team, read my power rankings that I posted Wednesday (needless to say, my forecast of a Broncos win over Oakland was correct).

REDSKINS (-2.5) over Ravens


Chiefs (+6.5) over BROWNS

STEELERS (-8) over Chargers

Titans (+5.5) over COLTS

JAGUARS (+3) over Jets

Bears (-3) over VIKINGS

PANTHERS (+3.5) over Falcons

BUCCANEERS (-7.5) over Eagles

BILLS (-3) over Rams

BENGALS (-3) over Cowboys

49ERS (-10) over Dolphins

GIANTS (-4.5) over Saints

SEAHAWKS (-10) over Cardinals

Lions (+6.5) over PACKERS

PATRIOTS (-3.5) over Texans


Last Week = 7-9
Thursday = 1-0
Season = 101-86-5

Thursday, December 6, 2012

NFL Three-Quarter Pole Power Rankings

            We did something a little different with this edition of our NFL power rankings. Utilizing ESPN’s NFL Playoff Machine, we projected the results of every game for the rest of the NFL season. Using that, we’ll rank the teams based on their projected finish.

32. Kansas City Chiefs (2-10, projected finish 3-13)
            Kansas City’s win against Carolina will be one of the five most memorable victories of the 2012-13 season (playoffs included), but that doesn’t mean they will close the year on a five game winning streak. The Chiefs are still a team in desperate need of finding a franchise quarterback.

31. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-10, projected finish 3-13)
            I know there a fair amount of years left in this decade, but Blaine Gabbert is a strong candidate for worst first round draft pick of the ‘10s.

30. Philadelphia Eagles (3-9, projected finish 3-13)
            There’s no better example of how devastating an inept offensive line can be for your football team than the 2012 Philadelphia Eagles.

29. Oakland Raiders (3-9, projected finish 4-12)
            The Carson Palmer trade continues to look worse and worse with each passing day. All of the draft picks they gave up to the Bengals could’ve been used to shore up an atrocious defense.

28. Detroit Lions (4-8, projected finish 4-12)
            Every game of the 2012 season for Detroit has looked like a “No Fucking Way Game” in Madden. Long term, they could benefit from adding an elite defensive playmaker with a high draft pick in next year’s draft.

27. New York Jets (5-7, projected finish 5-11)
            Welcome to the AFC’s version of the Eagles.

26. Arizona Cardinals (4-8, projected finish 5-11)
            Weird fact…Arizona was 3-0 with the replacement referees. They are 1-8 since.

25. Carolina Panthers (3-9, projected finish 5-11)
            Ron Rivera doesn’t get talked about enough when the discussion of horrendous NFL coaches comes up.

24. Tennessee Titans (4-8, projected finish 6-10)
            You could argue that Tennessee has only one legitimate win this season (their 37-3 thrashing of Miami in Week 10). At least Chris Johnson has shown that he has a pulse this year.

23. Buffalo Bills (5-7, projected finish 6-10)
            What happens when a team invests too much money in a quarterback from Harvard? The 2012 Buffalo Bills, that’s what happens.

22. Minnesota Vikings (6-6, projected finish 6-10)
            If there were such a thing as “Most Valuable Player Who Got Hurt During the Middle of the Season and His Team Immediately Went in the Shitter Award”, it would go to Percy Harvin.

21. Cleveland Browns (4-8, projected finish 6-10)
            For those of you that play fantasy football and have bitched before because you’re one of the top scoring teams but you’re record doesn’t reflect it, here’s two point differentials for you to chew on for real NFL teams.

-41
-36

            The first point differential is for the Indianapolis Colts, who need two wins to wrap up a Wild Card spot. The second is for the Cleveland Browns, who’ve played their asses off all season but have consistently come up short. Buy stock in the 2013 Browns.

20. Miami Dolphins (5-7, projected finish 7-9)
            There’s way too much Ryan Tannehill involved to give me any optimism about the three-year outlook of the Dolphins. They’d be above .500 if Matt Moore was starting.

19. San Diego Chargers (4-8, projected finish 7-9)
            I’m still trying to figure out how I projected San Diego to win three of their last four games. This team mailed the season in a month ago.

18. Dallas Cowboys (6-6, projected finish 7-9)
            Jerry Jones needs to mail Sean Payton a blank check. It should be plain to see that Dallas is going nowhere with Jason Garrett at the helm.

17. New Orleans Saints (5-7, projected finish 7-9)
            As far as disorganized football teams go, the Saints have done pretty well for themselves.

16. St. Louis Rams (5-6-1, projected finish 7-8-1)
            The Rams are two or three offensive playmakers short of being a playoff team. Their haul from the pre-draft trade with the Redskins last spring should help that.

15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-6, projected finish 8-8)
            Who would’ve thought that Tampa Bay would be the highest scoring team in the NFC through 12 games? Too bad they can’t play a lick of defense.

14. Baltimore Ravens (9-3, projected finish 9-7)
            At first glance, it would seem aggressive to predict that Baltimore will lose their last four games, but here’s the argument in bullet points.

-         Baltimore ranks 15th in passing yardage, 23rd in rushing, 23rd in passing yards allowed, and 23rd in rushing yards allowed.

-         Take away their Week 1 blowout of Cincinnati (remember they were honoring their recently deceased owner) and their Week 10 blowout of Oakland (remember, they are the Raiders), and Baltimore has been outscored by 5 points this season in their other ten games.

-         The replacement refs gift-wrapped a Week 3 win over the Patriots for them, Jason Garrett gift wrapped a Week 6 win over the Cowboys with horrendous clock management (stunner!), and Ray Rice had to convert a fourth and 29 for Baltimore to force overtime against an awful Chargers team.

-         The remaining schedule is @ Redskins (too banged up on defense to hang with RGIII), vs. Broncos (still playing for a first round bye), vs. Giants (will be playing to stay ahead of the Redskins), and vs. Bengals (if Cincinnati takes care of business, they should be battling Baltimore for the final wildcard spot in Week 17 on NBC’s “SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL”. ALL RIGHT SUNDAY NIGHT WHERE ARE YOU…oops, sorry).

So you heard it here first, Baltimore loses out and misses the playoffs.

13. Washington Redskins (6-6, projected finish 9-7)
            The cool thing to do is to predict that Washington will overtake the Giants and take the NFC East, and the schedule looks favorable on paper, but remember the plucky Cleveland Browns. Washington travels there in Week 15, and that’s where the winning streak ends. Couple that with resurgence by the Giants (more on that later), and RGIII will have to wait until next year to make his playoff debut.

12. Indianapolis Colts (8-4, projected finish 10-6, #5 seed in the AFC)
            I can’t wait to bet on whoever the Colts play in the first round of the playoffs. Indy will lose by 17+.

11. Cincinnati Bengals (7-5, projected finish 10-6, #6 seed in the AFC)
            Here’s the other team I can’t wait to bet against.

10. San Francisco 49ers (8-3-1, projected finish 10-5-1, #6 seed in the NFC)
            San Francisco got a tough draw with back-to-back road dates at New England and Seattle. They need to win one or hope Seattle trips up somewhere else in order to secure the division. No Credentials doesn’t see that happening, meaning a road trip to the Giants.

9. Chicago Bears (8-4, projected finish 11-5, #5 seed in the NFC)
            Big props to Chicago attempting to reenact a 1970s style offense. Brandon Marshal has 61 more receptions than any one else on the team, and over 900 more receiving yards than anyone else. I can’t wait for them to get shut out at Seattle in the Wild Card Round.

8. Seattle Seahawks (7-5, projected finish 11-5, #4 seed in the NFC)
            Three games at home (where Seattle morphs into the ’85 Bears) and one road date at Buffalo make for a favorable finish.

7. New York Giants (7-5, projected finish 11-5, #3 seed in the NFC)
            I have New York slaughtering the Falcons in Atlanta Week 15. Don’t let a fluke loss at Washington fool you. The Giants will still be a scary team come January.

6. Pittsburgh Steelers (7-5, projected finish 11-5, #4 seed in the AFC)
            With only one road game left (at the pathetic Cowboys), Pittsburgh is poised to take advantage of a potential Baltimore collapse.

5. Denver Broncos (9-3, projected finish 12-4, #3 seed in the AFC)
            The Peyton Manning comeback has been a tremendous success, but in this model, it won’t end well with a forecasted second round clash against New England.

4. Green Bay Packers (8-4, projected finish 12-4, #2 seed in the NFC)
            A road game at Chicago is all that stands in the way between Green Bay securing a first round bye in the playoffs.

3. Atlanta Falcons (11-1, projected finish 13-3, #1 seed in the NFC)
            Atlanta should coast to the number one seed in the NFC, but that doesn’t mean they are a shoe-in to win a playoff game. At least in this model, they won’t have to play the Giants in the second round.

2. New England Patriots (9-3, projected finish 13-3, #2 seed in the AFC)
            Expect the Patriots to take a page out of the Green Bay Packers playbook when Aaron Rodgers hung six touchdowns on the Texans in Week 6.

1. Houston Texans (11-1, projected finish 14-2, #1 seed in the AFC)
            Houston might lose this Monday night at New England, but the rest of their schedule is favorable enough that they should still end up with home-field advantage. It would be a much different game if the Patriots had to travel to Houston for the AFC Championship Game.

Monday, December 3, 2012

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (11/30-12/2)

10. NBA Fines Spurs $250K For “Restgate”
            It’s relatively amusing that Danny Green, the youngest player that Greg Popovich sent home for last Thursday’s game in Miami, now is dealing with a pulled hamstring.

9. LA Galaxy Win Their Second Straight MLS Championship
            Roughly 23,000 people give a shit.

8. Northern Illinois Crashes BCS Party
            Congrats to the Mid-American Conference champions for earning the right to get blown out by 35 points against Florida State in the Sugar Bowl.

7. Denver Broncos Clinch the AFC West
            Not a lot of folks would’ve predicted that Denver would have a playoff spot wrapped up with four games to play in the regular season.

6. Michonne Kills the Governor’s Zombie Daughter, Than Stabs Him in the Eye With a Shard of Glass on “The Walking Dead”.
            That headline pretty much sums up the reason the mid-season finale made the list.

5. Sidney Rice Nearly Gets Head Torn Off While Scoring Game-Winning Touchdown
            For a guy who’s dealt with concussions throughout his career, this was a truly inspiring effort by Sidney Rice. Seattle appears to have a firm hold on the second wildcard spot in the NFC with three of their four remaining games at home. 
          
4. Orlando Magic Win First Game Against Dwight Howard
            Orlando won’t have a lot to get excited about this season (unless you’re a fan of watching Glen Davis drawing charges), so good for them for embarrassing their former franchise player Sunday night.

3. Charlie Batch Leads Stunning Steelers Comeback at Baltimore
            It’s a minor miracle that Charlie Batch is still employed by a NFL team, much less leading a fourth quarter rally against Pittsburgh’s most hated rival. If Ben Roethlisberger is leading the Steelers to a Super Bowl title in January, this is the game that will have started the run.

2. Alabama Wins Epic SEC Title Game, Earns BCS Championship Berth
            No Credentials predicts that Alabama will have a much easier time with Notre Dame than they did with Georgia.

1. Chiefs Win Despite Tragic Events a Day Earlier
            I can’t even get mad about Kansas City booting No Credentials out of the Sportsbook Survivor Pool (I had chosen Carolina Friday night) after what they overcame to win on Sunday.