Tuesday, July 31, 2012

2012 AFC West Preview

            It’s time to head to the AFC West, aka “the division that traded the rights to Tebow and God for Peyton Manning”.


4. Oakland Raiders



2011 Record = 8-8, Third in AFC West
2012 Schedule = SD, @ MIA, PIT, @ DEN, BYE, @ ATL, JAC, @ KC, TB, @ BAL, NO, @ CIN, CLE, DEN, KC, @ CAR, @ SD

Franchise Players = QB Carson Palmer, RB Darren McFadden, DT Richard Seymour, S Michael Huff, P Shane Lechler (seriously)
Key Free Agent Acquisitions = None
Potential Impact Rookies = None

Outlook = Carson Palmer wasn’t all that bad for a guy who was sitting on his couch the first six weeks of the season. If he has a healthy Darren McFadden at his disposal for at least 14 games (a big if, because McFadden has never played more than 13 in a single season), the Raiders could have a frisky offense. Unfortunately, the loss of their first round pick (read about it hear) coupled with the large amount of draft picks they had already given away in past trades means this is a team that lacks serious depth. It will take a return to 2006 form and a full year of health from McFadden (read about what a healthy McFadden could mean to the fantasy community here) to drag this bunch into Wildcard contention.


Ceiling = 10-6
Floor = 3-13
No Credentials Prediction = 6-10


3. Kansas City Chiefs



2011 Record = 7-9, Last in AFC West
2012 Schedule = ATL, @ BUF, @ NO, SD, BAL, @ TB, BYE, OAK, @ SD, @ PIT, CIN, DEN, CAR, @ CLE, @ OAK, IND, @ DEN

Franchise Players = RB Jamaal Charles, WR Dwayne Bowe, T Brandon Albert, LB Tamba Hali, LB Derrick Johnson, CB Brandon Flowers, S Eric Berry
Key Free Agent Acquisitions = RB Peyton Hillis, T Eric Winston
Potential Impact Rookies = Dontari Poe (Memphis) 1-11, G Jeff Allen (Illinois) 2-12

Outlook = Kansas City is loaded with solid young talent, but they’d be much more attractive if the Peyton they added this off-season was Manning instead of Hillis. Matt Cassel is the NFL equivalent of a restrictor plate on a stock car. Expect the Chiefs to be in numerous low scoring games this season that hopefully no one other than Kansas City fans will have to watch. I’ll bet on Cassel hijacking a couple of potential victories for them.


Ceiling = 12-4
Floor = 3-13
No Credentials Prediction = 8-8


2. San Diego Chargers



2011 Record = 8-8, Second in AFC West
2012 Schedule = @ OAK, TEN, ATL, @ KC, @ NO, DEN, BYE, @ CLE, KC, @ TB, @ DEN, BAL, CIN, @ PIT, CAR, @NYJ, OAK

Franchise Players = QB Philip Rivers, RB Ryan Matthews, TE Antonio Gates, C Nick Hardwick, OLB Shaun Phillips
Key Free Agent Acquisitions = WR Robert Meachem, WR Eddie Royal, DT Aubrayo Franklin, S Atari Bigby
Potential Impact Rookies = DE Melvin Ingram (South Carolina) 1-18, DT Kendall Reyes (Connecticut) 2-17

Outlook = It’s truly incredible that A.J. Smith and Norv Turner are still employed in the Chargers organization. After squandering top-end talent for most of the past decade (including the prime years of LaDainian Tomlinson, the best runningback of the ‘00s), they finally bottomed out with a pitiful 8-8 record, squandering a chance to win the most winnable division in football. While most folks are ready to point the finger at Turner, Smith deserves most of the blame for letting a once formidable defense erode into a mid-tier unit. To San Diego’s credit, they were aggressive in the off-season, adding three solid defensive linemen through the draft and free agency. They are a defensive playmaker away (something they haven’t had since Shaun Merriman’s best seasons) from returning to their previous form.

            As for the other side of the ball, a return to their 2010 form hinges on the health of Antonio Gates and the emergence of a wide receiver. Blessed with good health for the most of his career, Gates has had foot problems each of the past two seasons. If healthy, he’s capable of putting up similar production to Jimmy Graham and Rob Gronkowski. With the loss of Vincent Jackson (who other than a monster game against the Patriots last year, was way overrated), someone will need to step up to be Philip River’s main outside target. Meachem is the most likely to emerge (he was lost in the uber-deep receiving core the Saints have), but Eddie Royal and Malcolm Floyd have been valuable assets before as well.
            With all that said, the pieces are in place for the Chargers to bounce back in 2012. There isn’t a game on their schedule that you point to and say they have no chance of winning (maybe their road date at Pittsburgh, depending on high you are on the Steelers). It all boils down to whether or not Norv Turner screws it up.

Ceiling = 13-3
Floor = 8-8
No Credentials Prediction = 9-7 (I’m done banking on Norv)


1. Denver Broncos



2011 Record = 8-8, First in AFC West, Lost in AFC Divisional Game
2012 Schedule = PIT, @ ATL, HOU, OAK, @ NE, @ SD, BYE, NO, @ CIN, @ CAR, SD, @ KC, TB, @ OAK, @ BAL, CLE, KC

Franchise Players = RB Willis McGahee, WR DeMaryius Thomas (will find this out once Manning is playing) T Ryan Clady, DE Elvis Dumervil, LB Von Miller, CB Champ Bailey
Key Free Agent Acquisitions = QB Peyton Manning, TE Jacob Tamme, CB Tracy Porter
Potential Impact Rookies = DT Derek Wolfe (Cincinnati) 2-4, QB Brock Osweiler (Arizona State) 2-25

Outlook = I don’t think anyone can honestly predict what Denver will get out of Peyton Manning this season, but let’s say the worst happens and Manning barely plays. This was a club that made it to the playoffs with a quarterback who couldn’t read defenses, work through a progression of receivers, or for that matter, throw an out or a slant. I think if Brock Osweiler is forced to play, Denver can tighten up the playbook like they did with Tebow and muddle their way to another .500 season. No Credentials will step out on a limb and say Manning will be healthy, and effective. We’ll realize that DeMaryius Thomas is actually an elite receiver, and Eric Decker isn’t bad either (click here to see what these two could do for the fantasy community with a healthy Manning). A bruising running game will be enhanced by the threat of the pass, which is something Denver never had the luxury of last season with Tebow under center. Denver even has a defense built to rush the passer, so if Manning can deliver some early leads, Von Miller and company will be able to pin their ears back and attack the quarterback. If everything clicks (which is a big if), we could be talking about the scariest team in the AFC. 


Ceiling = 13-3
Floor = 5-11 (can’t discount that God could hold a grudge over dumping Tebow)
No Credentials Prediction = 10-6





Click here to read about the AFC East
Click here to read about the AFC North
Click here to read about the AFC South
Click here to read about the NFC East
Click here to read about the NFC South
Click here to read about the NFC North
Click here to read about the NFC West

Monday, July 30, 2012

No Credentials Keeper Team Player Ranks

            Loyal readers of this blog (all 11 of you) will recall that I used to write periodically about my fantasy baseball team. Why haven’t I done it yet this season? To put it simply, no one other than myself and the nine other people in my keeper league give a shit about it. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to post a ranking of all 35 players currently on my team. We’ll be able to keep 10 players after this year, so the top 10 are the players I would keep if the season ended right now. Just for a refresher, here are the basic league rules and notes.

-         The price of a keeper player is forfeiting whichever draft pick was used on that player originally (with a tax and players who’ve been kept 2+ years, but we don’t need to get into that).

-         We kept 5 after last season, 10 after this year, and will be keeping 15 after 2013 and every year after that.

-         I won the league last year thanks to good fortune during the first half of the season, and a flurry of trades halfway through the season. I was able to acquire Robinson Cano and Evan Longoria via trade, and added an arsenal of pitchers just before the trade deadline. One of the 10 most incredible things I’ve ever accomplished was successfully completing four trades in one day in the same league.

-         Before this year, I kept Robinson Cano, Evan Longoria, Prince Fielder, Giancarlo Stanton, and Desmond Jennings.

-         Shortly after the season started, I was able to move Johnny Cueto and Jose Valverde for Nelson Cruz (lost that trade so far), and then swapped Desmond Jennings and Ian Kennedy for Ryan Braun (won that trade big time).

-         Around the start of summer, I was able to acquire Buster Posey and Cliff Lee in two separate deals.

-         Last year, my starting pitching was led by Cole Hamels, James Shields (career year in 2011), Tommy Hanson, Michael Pineda, and Gio Gonzalez. Pineda is the only one of them I was able to get back in the draft, and he’s been stuck on the DL all year. I’ve been punting ERA and WHIP all season. If my offense doesn’t show up, I lose.

-         Last year my team was loaded with minor league prospects. Brett Lawrie, Mike Moustakas, Jacob Turner, and Kyle Gibson were all used to sweeten blockbuster trades, while Eric Hosmer was a nice boost out my utility spot. This year? Not so much. Anthony Rizzo was the only big name I was able to move (in the Cliff Lee trade), but it’s fair to say that Rizzo would’ve been more valuable now than he was when I shipped him out. Trevor Bauer came up after great anticipation, stunk up the joint, and has since been shut down to rest. Dealing with prospects is a fickle mistress.

-         I forgot Adam Jones was on my team last year.

            After the primer, here are the ranks.  


35. Lance Berkman, 1B-OF, St. Louis Cardinals
            Picked up the old guy for some bench depth. Not a chance he’s kept for 2013.

34. Travis Blackley, SP, Oakland Athletics
            I wouldn’t know who Travis Blackley was if he came into my house with a t-shirt that read, “Hi, my name is Travis Blackley.” He’s filling a spot until a couple of my DL guys come back.

33. Julio Teheran, SP, Atlanta Braves
            It feels like Teheran has been Atlanta’s top pitching prospect for 10 years.

32. Bobby Parnell, RP, New York Mets
31. Frank Francisco, RP, New York Mets
            Parnell is only on board until Francisco returns from the DL. I don’t pay for saves, especially from erratic relievers.

30. Carlos Marmol, RP, Chicago Cubs
            If you read the previous paragraph carefully, you’ll know why Marmol is ranked at 30.

29. Erik Bedard, SP, Pittsburgh Pirates
            A brittle pitcher his entire career, Bedard has been shockingly healthy all season long for the resurgent Pirates. He throws out some stinkers, but his K rate is good enough to warrant keeping him around this season.

28. Brandon McCarthy, SP, Oakland Athletics
            He’d be ranked in the top-15 if he could stay healthy for more than a month at a time.

27. Felix Doubront, SP, Boston Red Sox
            Hey, at least he’s better than Jon Lester.

26. Steve Cishek, RP, Miami Marlins
            The best reliever that is apart of Miami’s “closer-by-committee”, Cishek will be in line for even more saves if Heath Bell is shipped out of town.

25. Jacob Turner, SP, Miami Marlins
            The top prospect acquired by Miami when they shipped Annabel Sanchez to the Tigers, Turner should be back up in the majors after the trade deadline.

24. Michael Pineda, SP, New York Yankees
            Best known as “the guy with the bum arm that Seattle was able to pawn off on the Yankees for Jesus Montero”, Pineda should be at full strength for the start of 2013.

23. J.J. Putz, RP, Arizona Diamondbacks
            Since reinforcement is the key to learning, I’ll say it again… I won’t pay for saves.

22. Trevor Bauer, SP, Arizona Diamondbacks
            The top pitching prospect in the majors, Bauer had some issues with control in his first few MLB starts, and has now been given a break to rest his arm. Hopefully he’s back in the Diamondbacks rotation in September.

21. Daniel Murphy, 1B-2B-3B, New York Mets
            Murphy is the kind of unsung guy that can boost your team to a fantasy championship. He’s not flashy, but he’s a solid .300 hitter that can fill in three infield spots. Due to Evan Longoria’s health issues, he’s played a lot at 3B.

20. Wil Myers, C-OF, Kansas City Royals
            Myers is the top minor league prospect left on No Cred At All, but unfortunately doesn’t have an open spot in the Royals outfield. Not to mention that he’s 0 for his last 80 in Triple-A.

19. Emilio Bonifacio, 2B-3B-SS-OF, Miami Marlins
            No Cred’s swift army knife, Bonifacio racks up the steals whenever he is in the lineup.

18. Pedro Alvarez, 3B, Pittsburgh Pirates
            Alvarez is an all or nothing slugger who if he ever figures it out, has the potential to be a 40-homer a year player.

17. Colby Rasmus, OF, Toronto Blue Jays
            I drafted Rasmus last year, traded him before last year’s deadline, and then was able to scoop him up off waivers this season. He’s streaky, but when he’s hot, he can single-handedly win a week.

16. Jonathan Papelbon, RP, Philadelphia Phillies
            No Credentials still won’t pay for saves, but Papelbon is my all-time favorite Red Sox reliever, so we’ll pay him some respect and put him inside the top-20.

15. Trevor Cahill, SP, Arizona Diamondbacks
            Cahill would be much better off if he didn’t have to pitch in Arizona, which is a problem when he plays for the Diamondbacks.

14. Nelson Cruz, OF, Texas Rangers
            Acquired early in the season, Cruz has been the biggest disappointment for No Credentials. 

13. Jonathan Niese, SP, New York Mets
            The fact that Niese ranks this high on my list makes me seriously doubt my team’s championship chances this year.

12. Phil Hughes, SP, New York Yankees
            After a miserable 2011, Hughes has rebounded to have a serviceable season. He’d be a shoe-in for the top-10 if he could figure out how to stop giving up gopher balls.

11. Matt Moore, SP, Tampa Bay Rays
            Moore has unquestioned stuff, and recently has figured out how to more consistently throw strikes. A strong final two months by Moore will easily push him into the top-10.

10. Cliff Lee, SP, Philadelphia Phillies
            I made a trade for Lee in early June, which means my team has collected 100% of his wins this season. Unfortunately, that only amounts to one. No Credentials is cheering hard for a panic trade to the Rangers.

9. Shin-Soo Choo, OF, Cleveland Indians
            Figured he’d be just a one-year rental, but Choo’s success in the leadoff spot has pushed him ahead of Nelson Cruz on the outfield depth chart.

8. James McDonald, SP, Pittsburgh Pirates
            The waiver wire pick-up of the year for No Credentials, McDonald has been the lone ray of consistency in the No Credentials starting rotation. He’s hit a rough patch since the All-Star break, but look for him to bounce back soon for the resurgent Pirates.

7. Elvis Andrus, SS, Texas Rangers
            Andrus was the one player that I absolutely had to draft this year, and was fortunate to get him at the start of the fourth round with my first available draft pick. An improved eye at the plate has allowed Andrus to post a career high .370 on-base percentage. Incredibly he’s playing his fourth season in baseball, and he’s only 23 years old.

6. Buster Posey, C-1B, San Francisco Giants
            Posey was a mid-season trade acquisition (which the other team received among other things, Ted Lilly, who I’m pretty sure made exactly one start for his new team. Sorry Ethan) who solidified the poop sandwich I was rolling out at catcher every night.

5. Giancarlo Stanton, OF, Miami Marlins
            Stanton was having a breakout campaign before a balky knee sidelined him until sometime in August.

4. Evan Longoria, 3B, Tampa Bay Rays
            An RBI machine in April, Longoria tore his hamstring and hasn’t seen the field since. A return this week will be a welcome pick me up. 

3. Prince Fielder, 1B, Detroit Tigers
            Hasn’t cranked out the normal amount of dingers, but Fielder has done everything else in his first season with the Tigers. To think that I almost ditched him and kept Eric Hosmer for 2012. Yikes.

2. Ryan Braun, OF, Milwaukee Brewers
            It doesn’t really make sense how Ryan Braun ended up on my team, but let me run through the details. Before the season, the owner that had the rights to him chose not to keep him (which at the time seemed laughable, but the player he kept instead was Mike Trout, which only cost a thirtieth round pick. That decision worked out). My friend Ethan won the first overall pick in our preseason draft lottery (don’t ask), and wisely used it on Braun. Unfortunately for him, either alcohol or foolhardiness caused him to trade Braun to me for Desmond Jennings and Ian Kennedy. That’s right, an outfielder who’s barely hitting .240 and a pitcher who’s thrown up a mediocre 4.20 ERA and a 1.28 WHIP. In defense of him, Jennings was a fourth round pick in redraft leagues that he would be able to keep at the price of a thirtieth round pick n year, and Kennedy was one of the best ten pitchers in baseball last year. Needless to say, Braun has been the MVP of No Cred At All. Without him, we never would’ve survived the early season struggles of Fielder and Robinson Cano.

1. Robinson Cano, 2B, New York Yankees



            Cano hasn’t been better than Braun this season, but he’s far and away the top second baseman in baseball. The difference in value between Cano and the tenth best 2B is much greater than the difference between the top first baseman and the tenth best 1B. 

Friday, July 27, 2012

Classic NASCAR Crash of the Week - Indianapolis

Not sure what's more interesting about this video, the crash or Danny Sullivan's fascination with the dirt kicking up onto the race track.




Wednesday, July 25, 2012

2012 NFC West Preview

Sick of baseball? Tired of the Dwight Howard saga? Not interested in which country is the best at ribbon dancing? Good news! Training camps have opened, which means football is right around the corner. No Credentials will provide season previews for every team in the league. We'll post the schedule, highlight franchise cornerstones, free agent signings, and potential impact rookies. Look for these posts throughout the month of August.

We'll start with the NFC West, aka "not the worst division in football for the first time in four years".


4. Seattle Seahawks



2011 Record = 7-9, Third in NFC West
2012 Schedule = @ ARI, DAL, GB, @ STL, @ CAR, NE, @ SF, @ DET, MIN, NYJ, BYE, @ MIA, @ CHI, ARI, @ BUF, SF, STL

Franchise Players = RB Marshawn Lynch, WR Sidney Rice, T Russell Okung, S Earl Thomas

Key Free Agent Acquisitions = QB Matt Flynn, DT Jason Jones, G Deuce Lutui
Potential Impact Rookies = LB Bruce Irvin (West Virginia) 1-15

Outlook = Before Marshawn Lynch’s recent DUI, I was much higher (pun intended) on their chances to crack .500 this season. A previous offender of the NFL’s conduct policy, Lynch is likely facing at least a four game suspension. With little else behind him on the depth chart, former Packers backup Matt Flynn (I’m assuming that he wins the starting job over Tavaris “The Virus” Jackson, but assuming Pete Carroll will do something that makes sense is a dangerous proposition) transition to full-time starter that much more difficult. They’ll be a pain in the ass to play in Seattle (watch out Cowboys, Packers, and Patriots fans), but expect a long season in the great northwest. 


Ceiling = 10-6
Floor = 3-13
No Credentials Prediction = 5-11


3. St. Louis Rams



2011 Record = 2-14, Last in NFC West

2012 Schedule = @ DET, WAS, @ CHI, SEA, ARI, @ MIA, GB, NE, BYE, @ SF, NYJ, @ ARI, SF, @ BUF, MIN, @ TB, @ SEA

Franchise Players = QB Sam Bradford, RB Steven Jackson, DE Chris Long, DE Robert Quinn
Key Free Agent Acquisitions = CB Cortland Finnegan
Potential Impact Rookies = DT Michael Brockers (LSU) 1-14, CB Janoris Jenkins (North Alabama) 2-7, CB Trumaine Johnson (Montana) 3-2

Outlook = St. Louis was the most aggressive team in accumulating future assets (click here for some praise for their fleecing of the Washington Redskins). They’ll have two first round picks for each of the next two seasons (think about how awesome that is for a second, especially when both picks have a great chance of being in the top 10 next year ). Trading down with Dallas (a minor fleecing, but it should be worth it for the Cowboys) and ending up with Michael Brockers solidifies their defensive line. Young cornerbacks Janoris Jenkins and Trumaine Johnson each have the potential to be shutdown corners who will have a chance to learn behind Cortland Finnegan. The only thing that will hold back St. Louis is their miserable offensive line and lack of playmakers at wide receiver. Assuming the Rams address those two holes in the 2013 draft, expect big things for them in 2016.

Ceiling = 8-8
Floor = 2-14
No Credentials Prediction = 5-11


2. Arizona Cardinals



2011 Record = 8-8, Second in NFC West
2012 Schedule = SEA, @ NE, PHI, MIA, @ STL, BUF, @ MIN, SF, @ GB, BYE, @ ATL, STL, @ NYJ, @ SEA, DET, CHI, @ SF

 


Franchise Players = RB Beanie Wells, WR Larry Fitzgerald, DT Darnell Dockett, CB Patrick Peterson, S Adrian Wilson

Key Free Agent Acquisitions = None
Potential Impact Rookies = WR Michael Floyd (Notre Dame) 1-13, T Bobby Massie (Mississippi) 4-17

Outlook = The success of the Arizona Cardinals hinges entirely on the success of Kevin Kolb (editors note: I’m aware that Kolb is in a position battle with John Skelton. However, No Credentials believes that Kolb has way more upside than Skelton, and choosing Skelton over Kolb guarantees a 6-10 record or worse). He was a tick below average last season, but that won’t cut it in (cue Ron Jaworski’s voice) THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. If he puts it together, he has one of the two best wide receivers on Earth in the form of Larry Fitzgerald, and a potential stud across the field from him in the form of rookie Michael Floyd. Throw in a serviceable running game, an adequate defense, and Kevin Kolb has all the pieces to succeed. Wouldn’t bet on it happening though.


Ceiling = 12-4
Floor = 3-13
No Credentials Prediction = 7-9


1. San Francisco 49ers



2011 Record = 13-3, First in NFC West, Lost in NFC Championship Game
2012 Schedule = @ GB, DET, @ MIN, @ NYJ, BUF, NYG, SEA, @ ARI, BYE, STL, CHI, @ NO, @ STL, MIA, @ NE, @ SEA, ARI

Franchise Players = RB Frank Gore, TE Vernon Davis, T Anthony Davis, T Joe Staley, G Mike Iupati, LB Patrick Willis

Key Free Agent Acquisitions = RB Brandon Jacobs, WR Randy Moss, WR Mario Manningham
Potential Impact Rookies = WR A.J. Jenkins (Illinois) 1-30

Outlook = See how many offensive lineman are in the 49ers franchise players list? That’s why a team that was quarterbacked by Alex Smith only missed out on the Super Bowl due to a couple of mistakes by Kyle Williams. Unfortunately, they were unable to upgrade from Smith to Peyton Manning, but Smith is been beaten down enough in his career that he shouldn’t be impacted by his team’s failed pursuit of an upgrade. He’ll have a few more weapons to play with on the outside, although it remains to be seen how much they’ll get out of Randy Moss. Mario Manningham presents a reliable third down option to take some pressure off of Vernon Davis. The schedule is significantly tougher than last years (week 15 at New England should be a great one), but they still have an elite defense that can keep them in any game. I don’t expect a repeat of their 2011 13-3 record, but barring a career year from Kevin Kolb, 10 wins will be enough.


Ceiling = 12-4
Floor = 9-7
No Credentials Prediction = 10-6




Click here to read about the AFC East
Click here to read about the AFC North
Click here to read about the AFC South
Click here to read about the AFC West
Click here to read about the NFC East
Click here to read about the NFC North
Click here to read about the NFC South

Friday, July 20, 2012

Mid-Season NASCAR Power Rankings

Don’t Ask Him to Pee in a Cup

35. A.J. Allmendinger
            A.J. literally pissed his chances of a legitimate Sprint Cup career away, barring a miraculous B-sample test result.

Completely, Utterly, Irrelevant


34. David Stremme
33. Dave Blaney
32. David Reutimann
31. Landon Cassill
30. Travis Kvapil
29. David Gilliland
28. Casey Mears
            This group has accomplished only two noteworthy things this season. Dave Blaney was the leader of the Daytona 500 when Juan Pablo Montoya took out the jet dryer (which resulted in Blaney being a trending topic on Twitter, which is reason #112 the Mayans might be on to something). David Reutimann drove his decrepit racecar around one lap too long at Martinsville, stopped on the front straightaway, and fucked up a classic duel between Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon. Other than that, nothing to see here.

Incredibly, These Guys Won a Race Last Year

27. David Ragan
            It’s really hard to look at David Ragan and not feel bad for the guy. Going from Roush Fenway to Front Row Motorsports is like going from Hawaii to North Korea.

26. Regan Smith
            Sadly, the fortunes of Smith have taken a turn for the worse in 2012. His average finish is down 3 spots, and he’s only finished on the lead lap 1/6th of the races (he accomplished that just over half the time last season). Someone needs to pump some R&D dollars into Furniture Row Racing.

Modern Day 1990’s Version of Darrell Waltrip

25. Bobby Labonte
            Sometime in the late-90s, a sportswriter asked Darrell Waltrip why he was still hanging around, ruining his reputation and making everyone forget that he was once a championship-winning driver. His reply? “Can’t quit, money’s too good.” I’m guessing Bobby Labonte would have a similar answer to that question.

Keeping the Seat Warm for Somebody

24. Aric Almirola
            Joey Logano. Ryan Newman. Kurt Busch. All three of those drivers are significantly more talented than Almirola, and all three could be available to drive the flagship car for Dodge next season. Almirola better be ready for a start and park gig next year.

Used to be Relevant (Emphasis on “Used”)

23. Jamie McMurray
            Two years ago, McMurray won both the Daytona 500 and the Brickyard 400. This season, his best finish is seventh, and he only has two other finishes inside the top-10. The equipment at Earnhardt-Ganassi isn’t cutting the mustard.

22. Jeff Burton
            No Credentials predicts that Jeff Burton will officially enter the D.W. 1990s version point of his career in 2013. He’s washed up, and it’s time for Richard Childress to find a new driver for the 31.

21. Juan Pablo Montoya
            I could wax poetic about the struggles of Montoya, but instead let’s post the video of the jet dryer he crashed into exploding.



2004-05 Jeremy Mayfield Impersonator, Minus the Crystal Meth Addiction

20. Paul Menard
            Jeremy Mayfield’s most noteworthy career accomplishment will be making the first two Chase’s by hammering out mediocre top-15 finishes week after week. Menard has been following a similar plan, but unfortunately the field is much deeper now.

Drives His Ass Off

19. Kurt Busch
            Kurt Busch has done quite a few noteworthy things in his year of purgatory. He gave his brother Kyle his first Nationwide win as an owner. Busch brought James Finch Racing to victory lane at Daytona in July (which even though it was Nationwide, was still a major David vs. Goliath moment in the world of auto racing). Most impressively, he wheeled a car with a broken suspension to a third place finish at Sonoma (which in case you forget, is one of two tracks that features right turns). Unfortunately, the following run-in with a reporter will severely hinder Busch’s chances of landing a top-flight ride in 2013.



Frisky at Certain Locations

18. Marcos Ambrose
            Ambrose has shown tremendous progress on ovals this season, but the egg he laid at Sonoma will prevent him sneaking in to The Chase.

17. Ryan Newman
            Newman is only nine points out of the second wild card heading into the Brickyard 400, but his unsettled future makes No Credentials feel like he has no chance of making it. Newman has no contract for next season with Stewart-Haas.

16. Joey Logano



            Logano appears to have done enough to keep a seat at Joe Gibbs Racing (the only reason Matt Kenseth’s deal with Gibbs hasn’t been announced is because they are still finalizing Logano’s sponsorship package), and the next two races will be his best chance at sneaking into a wildcard spot. He dominated the first Sprint Cup race at Pocono (which the series will return to the first Sunday in August), and success there usually translates to a good run at Indianapolis. If he sweeps both races, he’ll be in The Chase.

3-Headed Monster

15. Mark Martin/Brian Vickers/Michael Waltrip
            If you added up all of the points the drivers of the #55 have earned, they would currently be twelfth in points. We haven’t seen anything like this in Sprint Cup in years. 

Flop of the Year

14. Carl Edwards
            I had a feeling this season would play out like this for Cousin Carl, but didn’t have enough intestinal fortitude to rank him this low before the season. Edwards has only led one lap at a track other than Richmond this season. Maybe next year he can get Matt Kenseth’s personal to give him a boost.

Worse Luck Than the 1980 Soviet Union Hockey Team

13. Jeff Gordon



            Ending up on his roof in the Budweiser Shootout was only the beginning of a maddening season for Gordon. Unlike Carl Edwards, Gordon has led his fair share of laps, and has been in contention to win on multiple occasions. Crashes, equipment failure, and bad breaks have bit the former Boy Wonder like never before. Folks still believe in him, but his days of ripping off multiple wins in a short time span are about eight years behind him. The Brickyard 400 is a must win for him.

Will Probably Make the Chase, but Won’t be Factors

12. Martin Truex Jr.
            Truex looked like a sure bet to reach victory lane just over a month ago, but has tailed off since. Of the drivers currently in the top 10, he would appear to be the most likely to drop out.

11. Kevin Harvick
            Richard Childress Racing just hasn’t had the speed this season (see the performance of Jeff Burton and Paul Menard for proof). Harvick has done a brilliant job of getting the Budweiser Chevrolet safely into the top 10 in points, but that won’t be enough to bring home a championship. Fortunately, Harvick still has his way with words.



Will Make the Chase, and Then Choke Like He Does Every Year

10. Kyle Busch
            For all of Kyle Busch’s success, do you realize he has only won once during the NASCAR playoffs? He desperately needs a win to secure a spot in this year’s Chase.

Legitimate Championship Contenders

9. Clint Bowyer
            The lead dog for emerging MWR, who would of thought that Bowyer would actually be increasing his title chances by leaving Richard Childress? Bowyer is the best dark horse bet to win the championship.

8. Greg Biffle
            Biffle has had a fantastic bounce back season after a frustrating 2011. His struggles at three of the Chase venues (Loudon, Martinsville, and Phoenix) are why he’s ranked so low.

7. Matt Kenseth



            Kenseth is still leading the points, but No Credentials has a hard time believing that his lame duck status with Roush won’t begin to have an impact on the success of the 17 car.

6. Dale Earnhardt Jr.



            Junior’s resurgence this season has been huge for the sport, but similar to Kyle Busch, Junior has never had a great deal of success come playoff time. He won two races in the inaugural Chase back in 2004, but hasn’t reached victory lane since.

5. Denny Hamlin



            No Credentials pre-season pick to win hasn’t been too bad this season, but Gibbs just seems to be a hair off on the mile and a half ovals this season.

4. Brad Keselowski



            If the Chase started right now, Keselowski would be tied for first with Tony Stewart thanks to his series high three wins. He’ll be a monster next season when Penske makes the switch from Dodge to Ford.

3. Tony Stewart



            Stewart has been all or nothing this season, seemingly finishing in either the top-3 or in the twenties every week. His epic 2011 title run would suggest that perhaps Stewart has been experimenting a bit this season in an effort to secure more bonus points for the Chase. I wouldn’t be surprised if Stewart began ripping off top-5s week after week in the fall.

2. Kasey Kahne



            His luck in the beginning of the season was abysmal, but Kahne has roared to life since May. Kahne has the speed this year. It’s just a matter of him keeping the car in one piece. No Credentials feels safe suggesting that Kahne will win one of the next five championships.

The Favorite

1. Jimmie Johnson
            Johnson didn’t get off to a sterling start this year either (thank Elliott Sadler and his crooked crew chief, the Evil Dr. Chad Knaus for that), but quietly Johnson has been the most consistent driver since the clocks sprung ahead. The only chink in his armor would appear to be his shoddy pit crew, but we know that Rick Hendrick is willing to swap crews in the name of winning when it matters most (remember Hendrick made the call to switch Jeff Gordon’s pit crew with Johnson’s back in the final race of the 2010 season). It’s Johnson’s championship to lose.


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

TECMO Super Baseball Fantasy Draft - Round 2

If you missed the first installment of this series (and how the TECMO fantasy league works), click here.

2-11: Marquis Grissom, OF, Montreal Expos
            The catalyst for the track team you get to play with in Montreal, Grissom is the most dominant leadoff hitter in the game. His power wasn’t there in the first 20 games, but there were still plenty of steals. In real life, Grissom was a key acquisition for the 1995 World Series winning Atlanta Braves (you’ll notice that most of the Expos’ player notes will end with sentences like this).

Stats through 20 games: .419, 0 HRs, 8 RBIs, 18 Rs, 19 SBs

2-12: Paul Molitor, DH, Toronto Blue Jays
            They could put a blindfold on the TECMO version of Molitor and he would still hit .350. The dude is a machine.

Stats through 20 games: .500, 3 HRs, 23 RBIs, 28 Rs, 6 SBs

2-13: Barry Larkin, SS, Cincinnati Reds
            Coming off an injury plagued 1993 season, Larkin is back with a vengeance in TECMO land. He’s essentially the NL version of Roberto Alomar offensively, with the only downgrade being a less potent line-up around him. Nevertheless, he is the clear top shortstop in the game.

Stats through 20 games: .459, 1 HR, 7 RBIs, 19 Rs, 18 SBs

2-14: Fred McGriff, 1B, Atlanta Braves
            I’d write some more nice things about the Hit Dog, but that would delay you from a parody of one of the classic sports commercials of all time (sadly, the original ad featuring McGriff isn’t available).



Stats through 20 games: .365, 6 HRs, 24 RBIs, 14 Rs, 0 SB

2-15: Greg Maddux, SP, Atlanta Braves



There wasn’t a more efficient pitcher in the 1990’s than Greg Maddux. He tossed complete games without even throwing more than 80 pitches. In TECMO, his 38 mph Circle Changeup is one of the hardest off-speed pitches to hit in the game.

Stats through 20 games: 35 1/3 innings, 4 Ws, 0.25 ERA, 0.34 WHIP, 36 Ks

2-16: Andres Galarraga, 1B, Colorado Rockies
            The Big Cat was one of the few original Rockies hitters who eventually had success somewhere else. He was more than just a man boosted by rarified air.

Stats through 20 games: .464, 4 HRs, 16 RBIs, 16 Rs, 1 SB

2-17: Tim Salmon, OF, California Angels
            Salmon will be best known as the first bust in the TECMO fantasy draft. It’s not his fault, but he’s surrounded by one of the worst collections of offensive talent in the game. If trades were possible in TECMO, he’d be the top dog on the trade market.

Stats through 20 games: .295, 5 HRs, 11 RBIs, 10 Rs, 0 SB

2-18: Kenny Lofton, CF, Cleveland Indians
            Lofton is the fastest person in the game, and the straw that stirs the drink on one of the most powerful TECMO lineups. He was on track to be a potential Hall of Famer until getting traded from Cleveland to Atlanta in 1997.

Stats through 20 games: .333, 0 HR, 7 RBIs, 17 Rs, 15 SBs

2-19: John Olerud, 1B, Toronto Blue Jays
            Olerud isn’t the most talented first baseman in the game, but he’s blessed with occupying the clean-up spot for the powerhouse Blue Jays.

Stats through 20 games: .449, 6 HRs, 32 RBIs, 22 Rs, 0 SB

2-20: Randy Johnson, SP, Seattle Mariners
            Johnson flings fastballs at a 109 mph clip in TECMO. Making contact is difficult, but when hitters do, the ball tends to fly out of the ballpark.

Stats through 20 games: 26 2/3 innings, 4 Ws, 3.04 ERA, 0.83 WHIP, 57 Ks

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Classic NASCAR Crash of the Week - New Hampshire

The following crash occurred just one day after the death of Kenny Irwin Jr., and two months after the death of Adam Petty at New Hampshire. Both drivers died due to stuck throttles while entering turn 3. Fortunately for Dennis Setzer, he survived.




Thursday, July 12, 2012

Is Dwight Howard a Dumbass? An Objective Analysis

            Carmelo Anthony. Shaquille O’Neal (multiple times). Pau Gasol. Vince Carter (pathetically, but he still accomplished his goal). Kevin Garnett. Leaving the NBA for a second, John Elway. Eli Manning. Roger Clemens. Jaromir Jagr. These are all players who were A-Level talents at their professions who managed to force a trade. It shouldn’t be that hard. Superstar player utilizes the media to share his displeasure with his current situation, holds his team’s future hostage, with the team eventually blinking and moving him for anywhere from $0.25 to $0.75 on the dollar. Teams eventually have to blink because unless they are a large market that can attract free agents, they need to get back something for the loss of a superstar. Otherwise, they make one last run with their star and then watch him go (see: Cleveland Cavaliers, 2010).
            Incredibly, Dwight Howard, far and away the most talented center in the NBA, fucked this up. Everyone who followed the league for the past year knew that Dwight wanted to land in Brooklyn. With a chance to opt out after the 2012 season, it seemed like a slam-dunk that he would end up there eventually. The Nets didn’t have the necessary pieces to complete a midseason trade (thank the balky feet of Brook Lopez for that), but all Dwight had to do was wait 3 months for the season to end to leave. This could’ve happened without Brooklyn gutting half of their roster to acquire him. All that was required was patience. Unfortunately, “Superman” took one of the worst blind leaps of faith in sports history.
            Shortly before the deadline, Dwight agreed to not opt out of his contract, which would allow Orlando to obtain the rights to him through the 2013 season, and stripping him of the chance to hit the open market this summer. How does a player who has been pining for a trade suddenly opts in to another year with the trade he wanted to leave? Here’s a conversation that No Credentials is fairly certain occurred between Howard and former Magic GM Otis Smith back in March.

Smith: I can’t trade you to New Jersey. Have you seen their roster? It’s dogshit.
Howard: Ya I understand.
Smith: But here’s what I’m going to do. I want you to opt in for next season.
Howard: Why would I do that?
Smith: Because I promise I’ll trade you this summer to Brooklyn. We can make one more playoff run. It’ll be a sign and trade, you’ll get an extra year of max money, we’ll find a third team to participate to sweeten the deal…who doesn’t win?
Howard: You promise?
Smith: Promise.
Howard: Okay.

            One slight hitch with this plan…Smith got fired along with just about everyone else in the Orlando management staff (including Dwight’s best friend, Mr. Stan Van Jeremy, I mean, Stan Van Gundy). Stuck with a new GM that is hell bent on acquiring draft picks and inexpensive young talent (he’s a former member of the Thunder’s front office, so would you expect any less?), Brooklyn became an even less likely destination via trade. Stunningly, Dwight went to the NBAPA to accuse the Magic of “blackmailing” him (I thought blackmail was something that only happened in Michael Douglas movies) into opting in. Tired of building failed three and four team trades (the Cavs would’ve pulled the trigger on a deal last week if they didn’t start getting backlash for helping to build another super-team in the NBA), Brooklyn went ahead and resigned Brook Lopez for four years and $60 million (in other words, about $15 million too much for a seven-footer who can barely average six boards a game), taking the Nets’ most valuable trade chip off the table until at least January (there’s a time-period where a newly signed player can’t be traded).
            Is Dwight Howard a moron, assuming he opted in for next season under the pretense that he was going to get traded this summer? Yes. It didn’t take a rocket scientist (or for that matter, a fifth grader) to figure out that Orlando’s ownership was going to clean house. Not knowing the motives or ideals of an unknown GM, it would’ve been best for Howard to stand pat, play out last season, and then join the Nets through free agency (again, assuming that that is what he wanted all along). It’s a shame the Nets and Dwight won’t get together anytime soon. They deserved each other.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

TECMO Super Baseball Fantasy Draft - Round 1


            TECMO Super Baseball is the greatest baseball video game ever made. Based on the 1994 season, TECMO was one of the first games to keep full season statistics for an entire 162 game season. Even more amazing, the game gives you the option to literally play every single game of the season (which is a feature that currently is only offered in Madden). My goal before I croak is to play every single game of the season (picking which team to play in a given game based on pitching match-ups, home field advantage, personal bias, ect.). As of today, I’m through the first week of May (roughly 26-28 games played for each team). It’s taken me three years to get to this point.
            To complement this nerd quest, I created a TECMO Super Baseball Fantasy League (you read that sentence right). I drafted ten 25-man rosters, with no bias to any particular team. To emphasize how nerdy this really is, I have a 3-page Excel spreadsheet dedicated to it. Since it would be ridiculous to keep track of daily lineups, all 25 players are active every single day. There won’t be any add and drops, so each team is stuck with what they have. The positions that needed to be filled are…

C
1B
2B
3B
SS
2 CIFs (1B or 3B)
MIF (2B or SS)
LF
CF
RF
3 OFs
UT
8 SPs
2 RPs (I think relief pitchers are stupid)

            Before we get to the draft, there are a few things about the game you should know.

  1. Both teams from Canada rock. Toronto was coming off two straight World Series titles, and Montreal is the most athletic team in the game.
  2. Rob Dibble’s fastball tops out at 110 mph.
  3. Tom Candiotti throws a knuckleball that travels 29 mph.
  4. Both eastern divisions are vastly superior to every other (I guess not much has changed in 20 years).
  5. The home run jingle is the best sports video game music ever. I attempted to find a clip of it on YouTube, but alas there is something that can’t be found on the Internet.
  6. 1994 was the year of the strike, so in a way, you could say that when I finish this, I will have officially decided the World Series winner for 1994.
          Now without further ado, the first round of the TECMO Super Baseball Fantasy Draft.

1-1: Barry Bonds, LF, San Francisco Giants



            Back in 1994, Barry Bonds wasn’t a steroids abusing dickhead yet. Instead, he was simply a dickhead. Bonds is an absolute monster in the game (ironically enough, his only attribute that he isn’t close to being full is his “clutch” rating) who can belt balls 500 feet or steal bases at will. He’s lived up to his status as the first overall pick in this ridiculous draft, easily ranking as the top offensive player through 20 games. As it stands, he's on pace for the first 100-60 season for home runs and steals in baseball history.

Stats through 20 games: .471, 13 HRs, 32 RBIs, 29 Rs, 8 SBs

1-2: Ken Griffey Jr., CF, Seattle Mariners
            Griffey will forever be known as “The Best Player That Hopefully Wasn’t On Steroids During The Steroids Era”. Griffey didn’t get nearly enough props for speed in this game (he’s only ranked a 10 out of 15, which would equate to a 67 on a 100 point scale), but fortunately he hits the ball out of the park enough so he only needs to trot around the bases.

Stats through 20 games: .345, 12 HRs, 31 RBIs, 23 Rs, 2 SBs

1-3: Frank Thomas, 1B, Chicago White Sox
            Frank Thomas had a giant fucking nose.

Stats through 20 games: .369, 9 HRs, 24 RBIs, 21 Rs, 1 SB

1-4: Roberto Alomar, 2B, Toronto Blue Jays
            Most people forgot that Alomar was the most important player on a team that won two straight World Series after he spit in the face of an umpire in 1996.

Stats through 20 games: .389, 2 HRs, 15 RBIs, 21 Rs, 16 SBs

1-5: Albert Belle, LF, Cleveland Indians
            Belle wasn’t quite Mike Tyson Crazy, but he wasn’t far off from Carl Everett Crazy. Other than hitting 50 home runs in a strike shortened 1995 season (he wasn’t juicing or anything, no way), his most notable accomplishment was still getting checks from the Baltimore Orioles five years after he had played his last game with them.

Stats through 20 games: .409, 8 HRs, 27 RBIs, 19 Rs, 1 SB

1-6: Mike Piazza, C, Los Angeles Dodgers
            In TECMO Super Baseball, Mike Piazza is far and away the best catcher. It’s not even close. Drafting him at six is similar to taking Rob Gronkowski around the turn in fantasy football drafts this year, only there isn’t a guy like Jimmy Graham you could’ve taken a round later. In retrospect, he probably should’ve gone second or third.

Stats through 20 games: .476, 10 HRs, 32 RBIs, 17 Rs, 0 SB

1-7: Matt Williams, 3B, San Francisco Giants
            In real life, Matt Williams actually had a chance of breaking the home run record in 1994 before the strike killed the season (he had 43 homers in 112 games, which is roughly a 60 homer pace). So far in TECMO land it looks like Williams will have a shot at breaking the batting average record.

Stats through 20 games: .512, 10 HRs, 27 RBIs, 25 Rs, 0 SB

1-8: David Justice, RF, Atlanta Braves
            Hard to decide whether hitting the go-ahead home run to win Atlanta’s only World Series or once being married to Halle Berry is the more notable accomplishment in David’s life. I think I’ll vote for the latter.

Stats through 20 games: .353, 8 HRs, 21 RBIs, 17 Rs, 2 SBs

1-9: Juan Gonzalez, LF, Texas Rangers
            Juan got off to a slow start in the first 20 games, but he cranked out eight bombs in his next six games.

Stats through 20 games: .360, 5 HRs, 20 RBIs, 14 Rs, 1 SB

1-10: Rafael Palmeiro, 1B, Baltimore Orioles
            It’s fun video time!



            Fortunately we don’t care about steroids in TECMO land, so we can be happy that he’s the most versatile first basemen in the game.

Stats through 20 games: .329, 7 HRs, 18 RBIs, 20 Rs, 4 SBs