Classic NASCAR Crash of the Week - Kentucky

I had to cheat a little bit this week (there's only been one Sprint Cup race at Kentucky, and the only memorable mishap with that event had to do with parking), but at least Dario Franchitti drove in NASCAR for a little while. Here's one of the crashes that prompted his brief switch to cars with doors.

For grins and giggles, let's show Dario's crash a week prior to the previous one that he survived at Michigan.



Top 10 Hardest Red Sox Break-Ups

            Last Sunday’s trade of Kevin Youkilis (long overdue, even if the package Boston got back could be best described as a lingering fart) got No Credentials thinking. What were the ten most difficult “breakups” that I’ve had to deal with? Before I reveal the list, I’ll provide some context.

-         I was born in 1985, and didn’t become a diehard sports fan until I was nine, so if you’re in your fifties and get mad that Carlton Fisk isn’t on this list, that’s why.

      -         I tried my best to focus on the disappointment I was feeling as soon as I found out a certain player was leaving, without focusing on the aftermath. All but number nine on this list do a pretty good job of that.

Now on to the list…

10. Carl Everett

            Just kidding!

9. Adrian Beltre

            Beltre only spent one year in Boston, so there wasn’t a great deal of emotional attachment, but this move hurt the logical part of my brain. Coming off a lackluster five seasons playing for the Mariners, Beltre inked a one-year deal with the Red Sox in 2010. He exceeded expectations, batting .321 with 28 dingers, won the AL Silver Slugger Award for third baseman, and made the All-Star team. Rather than re-sign him (because you know, it wouldn’t make any sense to resign a guy who has already proven he can handle playing in Boston), the Red Sox instead chose to spend their money on Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, and John Lackey. Adrian Gonzalez is currently on pace for about 15 home runs (Beltre is on pace for 30), while Crawford and Lackey have been on the DL all season. Bummer.

8. Wade Boggs

            I’m too young to remember Boggs leaving Boston for the Yankees after the 1992 season, but I think my Dad was bummed out about it. Ironically enough, 1992 was the only season Boggs hit under .300 in a Red Sox uniform (I’m guessing a poor BABIP contributed to a .259 average that season. Either that or he was looking forward to getting the hell out of Boston). For evidence that Boggs may have been under appreciated, here are the batting averages (with on-base percentage in parentheses) Boggs posted from 1985 through 1988.

1985: .368 (.450)

1986: .357 (.453)
1987: .363 (.461)
1988: .366 (.476)    

7. Mo Vaughn

            Mo was David Ortiz before Big Papi ever made it to the big leagues. In his prime, he was a go big or go home hitter who somehow managed to post a .293 career batting average. He always came up huge in big moments (his most memorable Red moment was a walk-off grand slam off of Randy Johnson in an early season comeback against the Mariners), but unfortunately he only got to play in 7 post-season games his entire career. It was a bummer when he left for the Angels in 1999, but at least no one had any false hope that he was going to stay.

6. Roger Clemens

            Clemens is an asshole, so I don’t want to spend too much time on him. Just know that at 11 years old, I was really sad to see him go.

5. Johnny Damon

            Damon was only with the Red Sox for four years, but the goodwill he built up didn’t even make him a full on villain when he left for the Yankees in 2006. It was sad to see him go, but the way the rest of his career has gone proved Theo Epstein right. He wouldn’t have been worth the money the Red Sox would’ve had to fork over to keep him.

4. Manny Ramirez

            Sure Ramirez has had a lot of dirt thrown on him since leaving Boston. Sure the Red Sox placed him on waivers while he was there…twice. Sure he was nearly involved in a blockbuster trade that would’ve brought Alex Rodriguez to the Red Sox in 2004 (remember that?). Sure he was probably juicing during his entire career (who wasn’t?). You want to know what Manny’s postseason batting averages were during the two championship seasons? .348 and .350. The Red Sox have never really been the same since he was traded in July of 2008. 

3. Nomar Garciaparra

            The only thing that would’ve made the 2004 World Series run better for No Credentials is if Nomar could’ve been on the field for the final out in St. Louis. He was drafted right when I started becoming a die-hard sports fan. He came up and won rookie of the year. For a five-year stretch, it was a legitimate debate whether or not him, Alex Rodriguez, or Derek Jeter was the best shortstop in baseball. If he wasn’t so brittle, I’m certain he would’ve reached 3,000 hits. Lastly, numerous pets owned by friends of mine in junior high school were named Nomar. I was heavily intoxicated when word of his trade to Chicago broke, so this trade crushed me. 

2. Jonathan Papelbon

            The picture above shows everything I love and miss about Papelbon. At least I can still root for him because he’s on my keeper league team.

1. Pedro Martinez

            If you could teleport a “in his prime” Pedro Martinez to 2012, what would his ERA and WHIP be? 1.25 and 0.50? 1999-2003 Pedro was appointment television (his dominating two-inning stint in the 1999 All-Star Game against a lineup of Jersey Shore-like guerilla juice heads being the most memorable, other than of course throwing 102-year old Don Zimmer to the ground in the 2003 ALCS). He was a bit of a liability during the 2004 World Series run (remember him calling the Yankees “my daddy”?), but delivered a vintage Pedro performance in Game 3 to help Boston stomp the life out of the Cardinals. Pitchers like Pedro come along once in a generation.   

Classic NASCAR Crash of Last Week - Sonoma

Amazingly, this crash isn't in the top-5 of hardest hits survived by Steve Park.

How the Heat Won

            Sadly, the day has come where we have to refer to the Miami Heat as NBA champions. Hard to believe that just two weeks ago Celtics fans were expecting to beat them in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Let’s take a quick look at the six reasons Miami won the title.

Lebron James is the Best Basketball Player on Earth

            Even the most avid of Lebron haters (I’m talking about you Dan Gilbert) have to admit that he reached his peak this post season. He attacked the basket. He hit the open man. He crashed the boards. He didn’t jack 25-footers. Lebron James couldn’t of played his last seven games (we’ll include the final two games against Boston) any better. 

Chris Bosh Got Healthy

            Miami doesn’t beat OKC with just Wade and Lebron. Bosh has his flaws, but his timely shot making was huge.

The Heat’s Scrubs Showed Up

            We haven’t seen a weirder NBA team in the last 25 years. When Miami’s supporting cast doesn’t show up (like last year against the Mavericks), they look like a lottery team. When guys like Mario Chalmers, Shane Battier, and Mike Miller are draining wide-open 3s, they are unguardable. So far this formula is successful 50% of the time.

Oklahoma City’s Youth Worked Against Them

            Oklahoma City made all the mistakes a young team is prone to make on a big stage. They inexplicably left Miami’s 3-point shooters wide-open over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. As a matter of fact, I think Mike Miller just hit another 3, and the game ended over an hour ago. The Thunder let the referees get into their head on more than one occasion. They would pass up open jumpers, only to end up taking contested ones. James Harden in particular was a mess in this series, although most of that can be attributed to getting demolished in the paint by Lebron James. Every important player on this team not named Kendrick Perkins is 25 years old or younger, so they will learn from this defeat. 

Derrick Rose’s Knee Disintegrated Into 12,000 Pieces

            Forgive me for putting a couple of what ifs together, but it’s my blog, and I can do whatever I want. Keeping in mind that Chris Bosh didn’t play for the first four games of the Eastern Conference Finals, I’ll go out on a limb and say the Bulls would’ve spanked the Heat if Rose was healthy. Bulls fans can bring that too the grave with them if they like.

The Homeless Man Who Was Almost Eaten to Death Was Cheering For Miami

            I’m sure by now most of you heard about the homeless guy in Florida who got 80% of his face chewed off by a guy that was high on bath salts. What you may not have known was this guy was a Miami Heat fan. Throw in the Zombie Sonics fans that were cheering against Oklahoma City, and it appears that fate was against the Thunder.

The First Off-Season NBA Trade

            Avid readers of the blog (all five of you) might recall a series I was going to do outlining what every NBA team should do in the off-season. Three things have postponed this series.

1. Real life
2. The NBA Draft is scheduled to happen two days after Game 7 (it won’t happen, but Heat-haters can feel free to still hold out some hope), which doesn’t leave a lot of time to watch the NBA Finals, blog about what teams should do before the draft, and play TECMO Super Baseball.
3. One of the teams I wrote about in the first column traded two key players today, making that document a worthless waste of bandwidth.

           No Credentials is good at changing gears though, so we’ll discuss the aftermath of today’s trade. In what could best be described as a salary dump, New Orleans shipped Emeka Okafor and Trevor Ariza to Washington in exchange for Rashard Lewis’ expiring contract (which they will buy out) and mid-second round pick in this year’s draft. Before we get to the long-term thinkers, let’s discuss the Wizards.

            Washington has significantly upgraded their defense along the front-line in the past three months. Pairing Okafor with Nene (who was acquired in a trade with the Nuggets) will give the Wizards a solid safety net behind John Wall, while Trevor Ariza still brings enough to the table to match up against quality 2s and 3s. Unfortunately, none of these three guys are elite scoring options. Nene can do a little work in the post, but at best you’re getting 15 points a game out of this guy, not 20. Okafor and Ariza will be lucky to have a combined average of 20 PPG this season. Fortunately for the Wizards, they still have the third pick in the draft. Adding Okafor means that they will likely avoid drafting Andre Drummond (this year’s most likely bust in the first round). Florida’s Bradley Beal makes the most sense if he’s available. He would fill the black hole Washington has at shooting guard.
            As for New Orleans, I love this trade for them. While having Okafor to help protect Anthony Davis made some sense, it’s more sensible to ship off any veterans and burn the forest down. Getting rid of cap-hogging contracts improves the Hornets’ chances of resigning Eric Gordon (who will be second most valuable player on the free agent market). Adding a second round pick in a deep draft isn’t a bad thing either. Look for the Hornets to add another big man at 10 to pair with Davis for the foreseeable future. New Orleans won’t be as good this year as they would’ve been with Okafor, but their long term outlook is brighter.

Classic NASCAR Crash of the Week - Michigan

Here's solid proof of why Todd Bodine and Kenny Wallace never had a successful Cup career.



No Credentials Quick Takes, Volume 2

            Here’s the second (and hopefully final) installment of “What No Credentials Missed While He Was Traveling For His Real Job” (that’s not what I called it the first time, but then again, I put my son’s diaper on backwards this morning, so I’ve been having a rough go of it lately).

On I’ll Have Another Skipping the Belmont Because of Injury…

            I was as bummed out as anyone when the news that I’ll Have Another would not race broke. Avid readers of this blog (all six of you) will recall that No Credentials won a bunch of money off of this horse in the Kentucky Derby, thanks to the most accurate selection system of a winning horse ever known to man. I’d feel worse, but one has to remember that I.H.A. will spend the rest of its life banging women (is that an appropriate way to refer to a female horse?) in an attempt to produce another super horse. Life won’t suck for I’ll Have Another.

On the NBA Finals…

           This year’s Finals looks like it will go the distance. We’re lucky to have a series featuring the best two players in the NBA.

On Shaun White Skipping This Year’s X Games…

            I don’t give a shit. 

On Prometheus…

            Haven’t seen it yet, but I don’t think I need to. 75% of the movie was shown in Coors Light commercials.

On the Los Angeles Kings…

            Watching the Kings eviscerate the Devils Monday night, it was easy to wonder how this team was only an eighth seed in the Western Conference. Jarrett Stoll, Dustin Penner, and Willie Mitchell are the only key contributors slated for unrestricted free agency next season, and they have a solid trade chip in back-up goalie Jonathan Bernier, who needless to say, is expendable. With Jonathan Quick locked up for years to come, the Kings should be perennial Stanley Cup contenders for the foreseeable future.

On Juan Gonzalez Smacking Two Home Runs Against the Tigers…

            Oh wait, this happened in TECMO. Coming soon will be the No Credentials TECMO Super Baseball Fantasy Baseball Draft (that’s right, I did a mock draft for a video game that came out nearly two decades ago. This is a good time to mention that I was somehow able to produce a son).

On Matt Cain Throwing the Second Perfect Game of 2012…

            Yet more proof that we need to get steroids back into MLB. 

On the End of the Big 3 Era of the Celtics…

            We’ll save that for next time. No Credentials should be back to a normal schedule of posting, so stay tuned all summer long.

No Credentials Quick Takes, Volume I

            For those of you that missed the update in the season’s final weekend review, real-life has gotten in the way of No Credentials. Two weeks of training for a new job away from home will result in two things.

1. I’ll probably weigh 600 pounds on Father’s Day after all the take out I’ve been eating.
2. When I’m stationed at a hotel, I don’t have Internet access (a laptop hasn’t been fit into the No Credentials budget), so in the two or three days I’m spending away from home at a time, there will be no updates.

          Have no fear though. During each day off I have for the remainder of my training time, I will quickly hit the biggest sports stories of that timeframe. For marketing purposes, we’ll name them “No Credentials Quick Takes”.

On the Oklahoma City Thunder…

            Before the series, everyone thought San Antonio would overwhelm the Thunder with their depth. In game 6, San Antonio only played seven people. Sometimes, depth can be overrated. The Thunder clearly had the best two players in the series (Durant and Westbrook), and the fourth or fifth best player in James Harden. Oklahoma City will be the heavy favorite to win the NBA Finals, regardless of their opponent.

On the Celtics-Heat…

            I wish I could say I saw this coming, but I predicted Miami to win in 5 (oops!). Rajon Rondo has been the second best player in this series (behind Lebron James), which has tilted the balance in Boston’s favor. Even when his shot failed him in Game 5, he still was providing quality looks for his teammates. With Chris Bosh either out or playing minimal minutes, there has been little help for Lebron and Dwyane Wade. Those two combined for 57 points last night, but the lack of a quality supporting cast continues to bite them. Chris Bosh will have to play at a high level for Miami to have any chance of pushing this series to seven games.

On the Stanley Cup Finals…

            New Jersey’s game 4 victory is only delaying the inevitable. I said Kings in 6 (followers of this blog’s Facebook page can confirm that), and that prediction will be accurate.

On Kent Hrbek Going Off For 2 Dingers and 6 RBIs…

            All right this one happened in TECMO Super Baseball on my Super Nintendo, not real life, but regardless it was noteworthy. Hrbek had been struggling during the first 25 games of the season with his average below the Mendoza Line, but all it took was a date with Bill Wegman (who got rocked for 14 earned in 3 innings, ouch) to bust out of his slump. I’m going to end this paragraph before I officially lose touch with reality.

On Tiger Woods…

            The last time Tiger won a golf tournament it was shortly before The Masters. Everyone assumed that Tiger would be the favorite to win. He finished behind 39 other golfers in the final standings. His win at The Memorial comes two weeks before the U.S. Open, and now everyone wants to make him the favorite in that tournament. Everyone needs to take a cold shower before they assume Woods is going to win the U.S. Open by ten strokes.

On Kurt Busch Going Bonkers…

            I’ll say this for Kurt Busch…the dude doesn’t give a f*** for nothing. His line to a reporter after the Nationwide race in response to a question about his probation should go down as one of the greatest NASCAR interview moments of all time. I have a hard time believing this suspension will hurt his chances of landing a top ride next season (he’s too talented, and secondly, his status as a past champion would give a car owner the opportunity to expand to four teams and have the security of a past champion’s provisional), but landing sponsorship for him just became that much harder. I’d be willing to bet that he ends up at Joe Gibbs Racing with Monster Energy paying the bills.

On Dudes Getting High on Bath Salts and Then Eating Other Dudes Faces…

            A second case of this occurred in Louisiana, just a week or two after some guy ate 75% of a homeless mans face in Florida. Has this been happening for years, but the media is only covering it after the success of “The Walking Dead”? I’d like to formally request a nationwide ban on Bath Salts before my wife decides to fully zombie proof our apartment.

           

           

Classic NASCAR Crash of the Week - Pocono

Here's the crash that probably cost Davey Allison the 1992 Winston Cup, thanks to a bump by none other than Darrell Waltrip.



Classic NASCAR Crash of Last Week - Dover

Real life kept No Credentials from posting a classic crash before this past Sunday's race, but we don't want to forget the Monster Mile. Here's a classic crash that I watched live as a nine-year old back in 1995. To make a long story short, John Andretti was a piss-poor Winston Cup driver who somehow qualified up front. He lost control of his car, causing the largest crash at a non-restrictor plate track in the modern era of NASCAR. Good times. (EDITORS NOTE: If you want to miss the classic TNN introduction, fast forward to the 9 or 10 minute mark).